This is Me at this Moment

Some of you might know that earlier I had a personal distress of finding my future.

I've been asking myself all this while, "How come it seems like no one else faces the same problem that I had??"

It turned out the answer's lying in Honey and Clover all the time.

I'm Takemoto.

Below is an extract of what he said in episode 7. And every line of it is me.

Everyone was running desperately, aiming for something.

They were stretching their hands towards something
which was invisible to the eye.

Even if there was no goal there,
even if they had realized that their hand couldn't reach it,
they were still moving towards it with all they had.

But, I wonder what I was doing.

I was just staring,
and I did not even try to stretch my hand out.

I was scared of the result,

and couldn't take a single step forward.

I was jealously watching the paths
that everyone found with effort.

By saying that I was different from everyone else,

I was making an excuse to myself.

I was just afraid of being hurt.

If there is no map, you won't know where to go.

I thought you chose where to go, after you've seen the map.

But, that was wrong.

I am not lost because I don't have a map.

I... don't have a purpose.

I don't know which is more painful. Not having a purpose, or not knowing how to achieve the purpose.

Yvonne..