Suki

You're always at the corner of my eyes, 

you're always on my mind, 

you're always the one I'd apply "What-if?"s to, 

you're hot, in my eyes, 

it's been some time since I start liking someone,

but I think this time, I'd like to like you longer, 

longer, 

longer, 

and I would never look at you directly, 

inquisitively, 
curiously,

or even flirtatiously, 

for fear that if there might be a girl, even remotely close to you;

for fear that if my gaze linger on you too long, you might notice;

for fear that if I ever had the nerves to talk to you, all the bubbles might break; 

for fear that if I ever had the words out of my mouth, the tension is over;

why can't I say the right things, like all other smooth operators, 

why can't I do the right things, and stop worrying what might happen, 

why can't I just react right, when you came so close behind me, 

that my heart almost-literally jumped out as I realized: 

you were there all the time without making a sound???

why do you have to dress in a way that it seems like only I find it hot?

why do you have to be such a geek that it seems like only I find it cute?

why do you have to look so... argh! 

and worst of all, why in the world that I sometimes found you staring at me??????

was that just me?

I think so. I dare not tell myself otherwise. 

It's been three times that we've talked, 

it's been two times that I've caught you looking at me, 

it's been damnit-how-many-times you're so near but we never talk? 

"I like you!" If only I could say that without fearing the consequences. 

I like liking someone. I also hate liking someone. 
Life is such a fantastic irony. 

Yvonne..