Before everything, I just wanna say that I'm surprised that this is my second post in this blog since 2011.
What do you have in mind for your future?
I must admit, when I was young I was a fella who seldom think about the far-future. I just focus on my short-term future, and achieve goals and targets as I move along. In turn, I became someone who was very driven-minded, always doing things that can only be beneficial to my short-term future, without a care for anything else in the world. I was also someone who was very unforgiving when it comes to my faults, someone who cannot take losing very well, I can't be the loser, I must win.
At some point in my life this perception began to lose its importance in my life. I became much more relaxed, less obsessed about winning and losing, and take things as it is as it goes along, my focuses were completely blurred, and I lost even the short-term future and goals. I'm not saying it's bad, in fact I think it's kinda good, because I realized how much stress I'm used to under, it's quite scary. But at the same time, it alarms me as I think I might be going from one extreme to another extreme ie. from super-hardworking to super-lazy. Lol.
But lately a far-future idea begins to form in my head. It seems like a very far-fetched dream. But I am already taking actions to achieve it. It seems like a very hard dream. But I am willing to give up certain things in my life for it. It seems like I am abandoning some of my responsibilities if I can have this dream. But I am ready to believe that certain rules have to be disobeyed and rebelled against if I can ever, ever, live for myself. In fact if I'm given the indication and opportunity now, I'm can take off anytime. But I know, the more patient I am, the longer I'm willing to wait, the fruit will be sweeter.
What does future mean to you?
Lately I had some chats with friends and acquaintances. I'm very astonished to learn that a friend of mine has already thought of as far as what-to-dos after his retirement. I haven't even thought of anything after 10 years. Which lead to a very important question to me: Should I even begin to start thinking about it? Because as far as I'm willing to bet, it's useless thinking about it now as you will never be able to predict the future. Sure, it'd be nice to have dreams but too-optimistic dreams will only destroy a person in the future. But of course it depends on every individual.
For all we know planet Earth might even explode in 2012 (chuckles).
Since we're at the topic, I might as well express my views. 2012. Hands up for those who deeply believe in it? Well, I don't. I don't believe in that crap at all. But, I won't go so far as to eliminate completely its possibility. And anyway, even if it's coming I don't really mind, we all will die eventually. So? So nothing. That's that.
Where was I? Ah. One more thing, I think I'm better off not thinking too far into the future. Because I will be frustrated and demotivated even before it arrives. Yes I am that impatient. If I have to wait for something I'd rather not knowing it now, because it will possess my mind so much that all I could do is THINK about it all day. Now I hate this part of personality of mine. It's just irrational. Yet I can't do anything about it. I blame it on my genes.
Sometimes I wish my life is a movie. Like literally. That way, I can somehow take a sneak peek into my future. Then I will have some idea as to what I should start doing now. Or if I should stop some things I'm doing now. Dang. I'm being impatient again.
Dear God, let me take a sneak peek into my future, say, 15 years from now, in my dream tonight :) :)
Yvonne..
