I have a lot of things to do, so many that my eyes are flying here and there over the computer screen but I want to blog right now, to let you know what I've been doing these days, my recent developments (as if I'm some sort of drama or soaps), and what I'm thinking right NOW.
First of all, if you guys have been following my tweets, I passed my finals last semester, with some very dangerous near-miss marks, and I'm not revealing the actual marks, but to me, it is pretty darn close that I'm quite spooked out. My fingers were trembling before I checked the results, yes trembling, and I actually closed my eyes until my heart is ready to accept whatever results that is presented before me. After analyzing my results I actually closed my eyes again and thanked God that he showed his mercy on me.
Few days later, I attended a social gathering event organized by college, at which I encountered a pleasant surprise, which as a result I posted the previous post, it is actually a game that we have to play in that event, where the guy will be holding a riddle, and the girl holding the answer. The riddle and answer are repetitive among the crowd so really it's not all that special, but still I'm really amazed that things can be so freaky when you least expect it. Anyway, it's exciting at that moment at that timing but now it's all over and I'm much more rational now.
Some time later, again my lovely college had another lovely test for us, and I totally sensed that I'm going to flunk that too anyway so let's not dwell much on that.
On a side note, I've completed my Japanese Beginner 1 Level with Grade A certificate!!! I'm super proud and if you ever mention anything about it in my face I will wave the certificate in front of you in a very egoistic way and not even embarrassed by it because it is a language which I LOVE with all my heart and therefore, it is only natural that I'm so proud of it heehee. It is CONFIRMED that I'll proceed to the next level, see you my Japanese classmates next week!
Now I'm having a one week plus break which I feel is really short but it's actually really long in terms of our syllabus time because, usually our break's just a day or two, NEVER a week plus. It felt really short to me because of the tonnes of homework our lecturers assigned, and I too have some personal duties to attend to, not to mention some individual non-college related projects, AND on top of that I need to squeeze in some social activities because right now I'm like some kind of robot craving for human contact (I just finished re-reading Tuesdays with Morrie so please excuse my unusual craving which is totally different from the anti-social behaviour I usually have, because I'm now affected by Morrie's warmth and closeness to people and all that stuff).
If you've read until here, congratulations, you're really a very patient person and therefore now I shall reward you with some discovery of mine. Have you ever fallen out of love before? Not puppy love, not one-sided love, not all those other love, but really, really fallen out of love? I think for the first time in my life, or maybe the second time, I'm not sure, since it's hard to define this kind of thing, I've fallen out of love, with a certain someone whom I still care for and wonder about, but I just felt detached. It's rather hard to put the feeling into exact words but I think I'm quite certain what it is. I know it the moment I no longer felt that heart-burning jealousy whenever I see something sensitive, or no longer felt that heart-wrenching pain whenever I feel down. In other words I felt liberation, a break-free from tight grasp, a sense of individuality coming back to me, where my emotions and feelings no longer depend on a certain someone, where my happiness and sadness is now up for me to decide.
I'm glad to say that I'm single again. Not the status-kind of single, but the psychological-kind of single. Yes, I've done it. Someone please give me a graduation certificate.
So now here I am, back to square one, enjoying my single life, and not willing to be put through the pressure and stress of being in a relationship again in near future. Uh, uh, no way. Not even that cute guy which I find rather interesting to observe. Now what I'm gonna do is to have fun. Mwahahaahaaaa *evil laugh pierces through the night*.
That's it for now, signing off,
Yvonne..
